Do you ever feel like you have zero answers? This whole summer I’ve felt like my continued response to the big life questions, has been, “I don’t know.”
I have been back in the States for over a week now, and I feel nothing but “restless.” I HATE saying those words… “I don’t know.” I cringe at thought of them. The utterance of them makes me sick to my stomach. I love to have answers! Shouldn’t life with Christ give us solutions, results and blueprints?
For those that might not know, I left a job here in the States that I absolutely loved in order to obey God’s leading in Guatemala this Summer. I have never loved a job so much in my entire life. The thought of working anywhere else makes me sick and sad all at the same time. Upon returning to Florida, I find out that there is little to no chance of me getting my old job back as my old position has been dissolved. As far as I know, the company is not hiring. I am at a loss.
It’s Just a Job Rachel
Most people I talk with encourage me that I can simply “get another job.” But this was not any other job for me. I saw purpose in what I did and it certainly wasn’t about the money. I valued my coworkers and saw purpose in my everyday interaction with them. Very good kingdom work was happening in that place. Why would God take away such a special position from me?
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.Isaiah 55:9-11
Is Confusion Opportunity?
God’s ways are not my ways. I think my job was and is a great way to serve god and continue my mission outreaches. However, God clearly has something else in mind. He knows my heart and the hearts of those I will touch better than I do. Perhaps this confusion I feel is not really confusion at all but God moving me into a new season. And all I must do is be patient and not try and not try and figure it all out at once.
Think of the saints of old, did God ever give them an entire step-by-step blueprint?
The LORD had said to Abram, “Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you. “I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”genesis 12:1-3
So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.” But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.” God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.'”Exodus 3:10-14
When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, “The LORD is with you, mighty warrior.”…. The LORD turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”Judges 6:14-15
In addition, many women are mentioned in the Bible.
- Shiphrah & Puah (Judges 4)
- Lois and Eunice
So where am I?
The list could go on and on. The Bible is filled with men and women who, powered by the Holy Spirit, did amazing things for the kingdom. However, where does that leave me? I am like Abraham, Moses and Gideon. God has shown me a vision but now I wait for Him to give me the next steps.