What is it like?
I wish I could describe what I feel. Often when I’m in Guatemala an overwhelming heaviness comes over me. My first two days in the country I felt as if there was a giant weight on my shoulders. My body ached and my mind and spirit just could not seem to “feel” excited about anything. As I think back to past trips I realized that this feeling happens to me a lot. I really believe it’s some kind of spiritual attack. The last time I was in Guatemala, for the first four days of my trip, I awoke each morning with this tension in my chest and this feeling of great anger. I was angry at myself for some reason… I didn’t want to look at myself in the mirror, I was so disgusted with how I looked. I’ve never felt such hatred towards my own body before. Gail and my now good friend Becky did some prayers with me and I was delivered from whatever spirit was harassing me. But sometimes that feeling still creeps in, especially on my first few days in the country.
Things get better
The longer I am here the more peace fills me. And the more I am able to focus on the children. It is a sad reality what the life that many of these children grew up in.
Many of the children have behavioral issues brought on by very wicked environments. Most of the issues are unfortunately sexual. And these children don’t understand healthy sexuality because it was never modeled for them. In fact it is quite the opposite. Most of these children had very destructive sexual behaviors modeled for them. Their lives have been hard and confusing. But pray for healing and restoration for their hearts.